Ruiz Second Agreement
But if you don`t take it personally, you`re immune in the middle of hell. Immunity in the midst of hell is the gift of this agreement. It becomes cluttered in our minds, with the opinions of others, and with our judgments about ourselves. This is a real problem when our internal dialogue becomes too noisy, cluttered and negative. Our cluttered mind becomes a huge market of agreements that do not all coincide; too many voices speak at the same time and obscure our thinking. But when we begin to accept the first agreement, « Be impeccable with your word, » we become happier and more peaceful, more control. When we have more internal strength, it will be easier to adopt this second agreement. This agreement is so difficult for me. I have always considered myself strong and confident, authentic and confident. Recently, when I was really trying to get out of my head and realized how scared I was of disappointing someone. I try to show people what they want in me by just being the parts of me that I think they accept and approve well, hiding the true self. This is clearly because I take almost everything personally.
It`s telling to be able to see that. and yet I don`t know how to change it. How can I just think I`m good enough or even wonderful? And if it were me, wouldn`t others see it? I feel like when I tell myself that I`m just inventing things – another of my mental tricks. I want to feel good, but I really don`t know how. Not really. I used to think that I could PROVE it to others and especially to myself by running marathons, doing my PhD, having the « perfect » life (marriage, children, career, travel, etc.), being a loyal and caring friend helping the less fortunate. basically, trying to be perfect. It`s not working. I always think I`m not worth it, I feel like a scammer, I`m afraid of being a disappointment for everyone. So, basically.
I still have a long way to go. If you stick to this agreement, you can travel around the world with a completely open heart and no one can hurt you. You can say, « I love you, » without fear of being ridiculed or rejected. You can ask for what you need. The second chord seems deceptively simple: « Don`t take anything personally. » But many of us are sensitive and defensive, ready to fend off the negativity that the world throws at us. Even if one situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do and the opinions they give are based on the agreements they have in their own minds. If you take things personally, you make easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can easily tie you up with a small opinion and feed you the poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it.
7. The fourth chord is, « Always give your best. » What are some examples of how the practice of this agreement would change your life? Do you tend to push yourself too hard? Do you know when you did your best? Don`t take anything personally. This is the second chord of Don Miguel Ruiz`s classic « The Four Chords ». I need a memory today. So I open his book to this chapter and read: 8. The four agreements seem to be common sense. Do you find it easy or difficult to put these agreements into practice? Has the practice of one or more of the Four Agreements changed your life? That said, if you`re befriending someone whose words or actions hurt you, it`s healthy to set boundaries, set boundaries, and honor yourself. You can experience great feelings, and these are all real and valid. Feeling hurt doesn`t mean taking something personally. However, in the healing process, it will be important to practice this agreement and reassure yourself that the person`s actions were not about you and/or your worth. Some of my favorite points to remember from this agreement: « Don`t eat other people`s emotional garbage! Stop inflicting unnecessary suffering on me.
-Choose to always follow my audition. Check out last week`s article on how to apply the first agreement to friendship. Then, come back and learn more about the second chord. The second agreement invites us to recognize that we all work from the perspective of our own unique experiences. My point of view is different from your point of view, and while we may share a variety of similarities and connections, your actions, thoughts, and words do not concern me. Anything a friend posts on IG, tells me over coffee or thinks about how I dress, for example, is NOT ABOUT ME. (Emphasize because it`s still quite difficult for me to achieve, and I guess I`m not alone.) When I take something personally, I center myself, use limited information to jump to conclusions, and ignore its experience and perspective. Also, I tell myself falsely. I believe all four are equally important, this agreement has had the biggest impact on my life. 4. The first agreement is, « Be impeccable with your word. » Can you explain why this agreement is so powerful? Are you aware of the power of your word? How have you experienced the power of speech in your life? These first two chords free you from a lot of bad chords that have disrupted your life. After all, careless words combined with very offended people will inevitably bring drama.
AND I believe that Ruiz`s teachings on depersonalization can help us live with a greater sense of peace. Yes, when we take things personally, everything revolves around ourselves; our ego. We believe that the world revolves around us and that everything people do is specifically focused on us. Intellectually, this may sound ridiculous or extreme, but it`s what we do all the time without realizing it. In reality, you have no idea what`s going on: your server may have thought someone else was taking care of you; There may be problems behind the scenes that you don`t know about. He may have personal problems and is not fully present. None of this has anything to do with you, but when you personalize, you think they are. This gives you an excuse to direct your anger at someone else.
Thank you for sharing! And yes, isn`t it amazing how much your perspective changes when you stop taking others personally? He did it for me too. I love, I love, I love how I am less likely to personalize someone else`s mood and melody. . There is nothing good if you take things personally. In fact, it`s a chain reaction of evil: being human being is beautiful and amazing, and it`s also complex. I am directly with you and I am learning to be authentic and willing to connect while allowing others to have their own process. When you take something personally, I invite you to treat yourself with compassion and gently remind yourself that you are loved and worthy by nature. Again, through this process, you can document your support system and remember the many people and places you can turn to to make a connection. There could be 100 reasons why you didn`t receive any text messages. Maybe they were facing a family emergency or dropped their phone in the bathroom or just felt introspective and didn`t want to talk to anyone.
The reason they don`t send text messages (whatever it is) probably has nothing to do with you. People will do and say what they want – you can`t control that. But you CAN control how you react. Even if someone says something hurtful like « You`re fat » or « You can`t do anything right, » it still has nothing to do with you, according to Ruiz. It is a reflection of their worldview and uncertainties. When you become aware of how often you`re customizing, you`re leaving autopilot so you can recognize your reaction in the moment. So maybe you can be open to alternative realities and say to yourself, « I don`t know what`s going on, but it`s about him/her, not about me. » Not taking things personally is a big step towards a healthy relationship. .